CHAINSAW

No one there!

No pistol toting lumberjack, no axe wielding Jason in the woods today, no Jack o’ the Green demanding sacrifice.

“Yeah, and no big bad fucking wolf either” he told himself out loud.

He turned back to the fallen tree, “Just you an’ me, pal- and this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.”

He pushed the blade of the chainsaw into the trunk of the felled log and cut a shallow X into the wood. He then set to stripping away the branches from the body of the tree.

As he worked, Robbie grinned maliciously, now picturing himself as the leather masked monster from ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’.

He’d had seen the original movie countless times, the sequels a few times as well and much to his pleasure, the remake version (that was actually even better than the first version) dozens of times.

Robbie revelled in his new found imagery.

The prone pine became his terrified virgin victim.

Juvenile giggles escaped his throat as he imagined mutilating the nearly naked college girl.

Sap and bark flew, branches and twigs were severed as Robbie conjured up images of blood and gore schlock horror style. He struggled to recall any horror movie music to accompany his sick fantasy, but his alcohol numbed brain wouldn’t recollect any scary overtures.

He moved to the next standing pine.

Robbie felt powerful, felt strong as he hefted the ‘Husq 365’ chainsaw in well practised arcs and cuts. He dared challengers to try to sneak up on him and have a go!

Scowling as he worked, Robbie felt his bravado growing – he’d show anyone that messed with him.

With a groan of reluctant acceptance, the tree that had struggled against the elements for over fifty years, toppled to the ground.

Triumphant, Robbie wiped the sweat and dirt from his eyes.

“That’ll teach you to mess with me!”- He spat at the fallen timber- “Fuck you and die!”

Due to his short attention span his mind soon abandoned the horror fantasy and regressed back to his dislike of his job and work in general.

“Friggin’ trees, I hate them all!”

The fact that some people actually liked trees and the countryside both puzzled and annoyed him equally. If, ‘they’, the tree huggers, had to work out here all day, ‘they’, would soon be as sick of trees as he was!

He let the saw idle as he ambled over to the next tree and after setting the ‘Husq’ down; he emptied his bladder against the bole.

Robbie jumped in surprise as a great wrenching of timber erupted behind him. He stared on in silent horror as the trees that formed the perimeter of the clearing writhed and coiled as if possessed with a sentient will of their own!

The once majestic pines, which normally stood as straight as soldiers at attention, now moved as if in some twisted Disney nightmare.

Robbie’s mind reeled as he struggled to comprehend the dreadful scene that unfolded around him.